Tommy, I thoroughly (and hair-raisingly) enjoyed your story. I really appreciated the effort involved in creating an alient that didn't fit neatly into a human conception of anatomy. In the part of the story where Ecks compared the number of appendages in the man's to It's own, my imagination had a ball trying to create a picture of Ecks. The story slides into body horror as Ecks decides that the human lacks intelligence and begins an extreme surgery on the unfortunate man. Bravo for pushing at the boundaries of sci-fi with this story.
So cool, a sci-fi self inflicted Groundhog day! 😀 I started reading the story skipping a few paragraphs after your initial setup. This is a bad habit of mine, I know, but it’s part of my scanning process these days since there is so much media to consume, I scan and read bits to see the quality ( I do it with youtube too) but also means I often fall into a story that’s a bit out of order. Usually, when I love what I read, I jump back to the beginning to clear up some things I don’t understand. So this happened with your story too. And for a while, I read and I wasn’t aware that the creature was a human. And this tension was so good. I was wondering about the creature, I asked myself if it was ethical what the protagonist was doing. I was emotionally involved, I’m a vegetarian and I was relating her behavior to how humans treat animals. Then, with the blood smears, I felt like reading back to understand. Only at that moment I read about the guy being beamed up. Suddenly the mystery was gone. I knew the creature was a human. This broke the tension for me. I think you can leave the human beaming up completely out. The reader can still slowly discover that the creature is a human by your description of the body parts etc. Or maybe add something at the end, so readers really get it was a human without saying it. I think the shock will be so much greater for the reader, for me it was a bit of a shock to find out it was a human, and I found out a bit later in the story than the reader who read it chronologically. Imagine if you keep it a mystery almost until the end. Does this make sense? I loved to read this, thank you!
Loved it! As if the initial torture were not horrific enough, the poor guy is doomed to live through it again and again. Have you read Solaris by Stanislaw Lem? It also explores the problem of communicating with intelligences vastly different from us.
.. absolutely ! i wanna 2nd more luxurious read of course .. mebbe with some music I feel apropos .. the world of sound is my oyster.. re emotion.. energy.. or ‘i feel like - need a double shot of heartbreak jalopena scorching drama tunage .. saw a Santana live clip answered that bell yesterday.. haha !
Wuz puzzled myself every time was writing a creature character dialogue or internal ‘voice.. but was lucky I started with a young Orca .. & had had come across the book ‘White Bone - Barbara Gowdy - re elephants ! the Beautiful Creatures as well as ‘shamanism are my ‘literary devices’ to allow ‘extra scope .. when my human characters are being described - their way of being & specific character.. Would like to think I can embody such perspectives within my ‘memoir stylings’ as well - the ‘true stories - that include wild or domestic critters .. even a mean spirited barracuda with a wicked sense of humour - ‘givin me the look - eh.. 🦎🏴☠️🎬
Tommy, I thoroughly (and hair-raisingly) enjoyed your story. I really appreciated the effort involved in creating an alient that didn't fit neatly into a human conception of anatomy. In the part of the story where Ecks compared the number of appendages in the man's to It's own, my imagination had a ball trying to create a picture of Ecks. The story slides into body horror as Ecks decides that the human lacks intelligence and begins an extreme surgery on the unfortunate man. Bravo for pushing at the boundaries of sci-fi with this story.
Wow thanks so much for the kind words, it means a lot 🙂
Nicely done, especially the twist with the blood smears at the end!
Thank you!
So cool, a sci-fi self inflicted Groundhog day! 😀 I started reading the story skipping a few paragraphs after your initial setup. This is a bad habit of mine, I know, but it’s part of my scanning process these days since there is so much media to consume, I scan and read bits to see the quality ( I do it with youtube too) but also means I often fall into a story that’s a bit out of order. Usually, when I love what I read, I jump back to the beginning to clear up some things I don’t understand. So this happened with your story too. And for a while, I read and I wasn’t aware that the creature was a human. And this tension was so good. I was wondering about the creature, I asked myself if it was ethical what the protagonist was doing. I was emotionally involved, I’m a vegetarian and I was relating her behavior to how humans treat animals. Then, with the blood smears, I felt like reading back to understand. Only at that moment I read about the guy being beamed up. Suddenly the mystery was gone. I knew the creature was a human. This broke the tension for me. I think you can leave the human beaming up completely out. The reader can still slowly discover that the creature is a human by your description of the body parts etc. Or maybe add something at the end, so readers really get it was a human without saying it. I think the shock will be so much greater for the reader, for me it was a bit of a shock to find out it was a human, and I found out a bit later in the story than the reader who read it chronologically. Imagine if you keep it a mystery almost until the end. Does this make sense? I loved to read this, thank you!
Loved it! As if the initial torture were not horrific enough, the poor guy is doomed to live through it again and again. Have you read Solaris by Stanislaw Lem? It also explores the problem of communicating with intelligences vastly different from us.
Nice! Cool, to the point, thoughtful! Liked the afterward just as much : )
.. absolutely ! i wanna 2nd more luxurious read of course .. mebbe with some music I feel apropos .. the world of sound is my oyster.. re emotion.. energy.. or ‘i feel like - need a double shot of heartbreak jalopena scorching drama tunage .. saw a Santana live clip answered that bell yesterday.. haha !
Wuz puzzled myself every time was writing a creature character dialogue or internal ‘voice.. but was lucky I started with a young Orca .. & had had come across the book ‘White Bone - Barbara Gowdy - re elephants ! the Beautiful Creatures as well as ‘shamanism are my ‘literary devices’ to allow ‘extra scope .. when my human characters are being described - their way of being & specific character.. Would like to think I can embody such perspectives within my ‘memoir stylings’ as well - the ‘true stories - that include wild or domestic critters .. even a mean spirited barracuda with a wicked sense of humour - ‘givin me the look - eh.. 🦎🏴☠️🎬